We often admire and look up to qualities in others. But those qualities belong to them. Not to you. You cannot own those qualities. As long as someone else is your role model, you will always feel something deficient in you. It's not a nice feeling. Your sense of confidence will be a bit low. That's what happens when you seek or have an external role model.
A role model can really never be external. Because you cannot ever know the exact reason and cause why that person behaved in a particular way in a particular situation. It's like someone is wearing their shoes and you seem to know exactly how they are wearing, and how they are walking in it. You have based your admiration on assumptions.
It is normal for people who are not able to feel freedom to have external role models. They need boundaries to guide them. To keep them on the correct path. An external role model does this very well.
But for people who are free spirits, who don't have boundaries, and who define new norms of behavior, there is no role model. Their actions speak of their uniqueness. They don't have any rules to follow. They believe in their own values and judgement. They have no one to follow. Because their internal peace is the best judge for their actions.
Be your own role model.