Family relationships often test us. They put us on the brink. Sometimes, the rules are too rigid, at other times the guidance too imposing. We lose freedom. Joint families run this risk. That itself has given the reason to the birth of nuclear families. Fewer members to listen to, fewer views to adapt to fewer personalities to mold into. It's surely a better way to avoid mess in the family.

We consider family members as our own. It means you think there is no difference you feel between your brother and you. Therein lies the problem. All formal barriers are broken. You say things without filtering through the layer of human sensitivity. Sensitivity is not needed because we expect our own to understand us. There is mess in the family.

Family members often feel cramped for space. It seems they are accountable. They feel strangled, claustrophobic. Now, what to do ? How to come out of this squeezing ? One of the ways is to rebel. The other way is to distance yourself from the family. Neither are a satisfactory solution. There is mess in the family.

To avoid this mess, 7 learnings may help. They are :

* respect individuality

* give space

* encourage

* support in distress

* understanding

* be light hearted

* give time

A happy family has happy family members. It's a collective joy which percolates down to the individual. When this happens, we say "there is bless in the family".